Zoey Shadow
We lost our beautiful Zoey last night at 14 years and 10 months.
She came into our lives when we needed her most. Zoey wasn’t just any dog—I believe she was sent by Nick—6 months after we lost him.
On the night of Friday, March 25, 2009, I dreamt that a tree I grasped onto in order to save me had rotted and I fell away. I understood how that tree felt—its roots no longer connected to the earth or its purpose. I felt empty and disconnected.
I had a specific plan for that Saturday morning—going to my friend, Iris’, for dinner and lunch with my friend, Julie, for her birthday. I wanted to work out at gold’s Gym in the morning and even asked Luke to wake me up. He did. I rolled over.
When I finally started my day, I realized I needed to go to the store to get the ingredients to make chili for dinner. My plans for the day had been diverted. I shifted lanes. As I drove in front of PetSmart, this tall woman pulled a blue shopping cart full of puppies. I ONLY saw GRAY. She went into the store, and I was tempted to go right it because there was a pet adoption. Yet, I hesitated, went into Hannaford and purchased my food. That pull to walk into PetSmart yanked me through the door.
In a basket was a gray dog. I picked her up and her blue eyes stared into mine. We both fell in love. She was the root that connected me to the hope that losing Nick rotted.
I called Luke and told him to bring Stephen. When I saw the look of joy on 11-year-old Stephen’s face, I knew she was ours. Our application was approved less than a week later. Colleen and I ran to PetSmart to get supplies. Stephen and his friend, Colin, came with me to pick her up. Stephen held Zoey like both their lives depended on it. So much hope in this furry being.
Zoey was a rescue lab—a mix of Black Lab and Akita. Her gray fur and white patch on her chest always so soft. She smiled at you like she was going to rip your head off but that curled tail and her wiggling body meant that she couldn’t wait to show her love.
I named her my tear catcher because she let me hold her for as long as I needed as my loss leaked out of me and her love filled the gaps. Zoey came into our lives when it was so dark. She brought light and proved to us that no matter how desolate life may look, Love once again always, always wins, always shines brighter, always heals.
Our baby girl will be so missed but I thank her for being a part of saving me; for giving me a reason to keep walking when I felt I couldn’t take another step. She is why we keep taking chances to love—that love brightens any sadness.